We have the best of intentions, but at some point, you’re going to get triggered by our kids at moments of frustration.
What we don’t realize is that those moments when we get provoked, we are being reminded of pain from our past. In these moments, we are transported back to the old, painful situation.
We react in ways that are controlling or childish – we aren’t behaving as ourselves.
You know what we mean…if your child isn’t listening and you “lose it” the same way one of your parents used to “lose it” on you or you’re overwhelmed by a sense of terror – the same way you used to feel like as a kid when you were punished by your parents.
Where you find yourself often overreacting to your kids, use that as a signal to reflect back on your own experience as a child to learn what could be informing your current situation.
A real-life example from one of our loyal listeners and readers that spurred this post.
“When I was a kid, my parents argued a lot. I was an only child so I learned to adapt and keep quiet. Now as an adult, I hesitate to express when I’m frustrated because I hate loud voices and arguments. But what ends up happening is I hold it all in and then get triggered by something silly my kids do, and then I blow my lid and yell at them in a moment of total overreaction causing a lot of confusion and frustration for everyone.Brian P.
Thanks to Brain for sharing this. It’s an all too familiar situation and feeling. But the silver lining is we can learn from it by noticing what’s causing us to be triggered and address the root cause.
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