Anxiety is inevitable.
When we experience anxiety, something from deep within us is triggered. We are reacting to our mental judgments.
Recognizing when we are anxious is one of the best gifts you can give yourself and your family. By doing so, you can preserve many relationships throughout your life.
When we recognize, we become aware, and we can ask ourselves “why is this thing triggering me?”
Then we can sit with the answer, making sure we don’t project our anxiety onto others.
Our anxiety is coming from something unresolved within us and it exists regardless of whether the triggering event or person presented.
If one circumstance doesn’t trigger you, something else eventually will.
The kicker is this – all that buzz about stopping and controlling your anxiety is rubbish. It isn’t something we need to control.
We need to accept and sit with it. If we don’t, we are likely going to become overwhelmed and blindly react to it. And that’s when we engage with others, typically in a hostile way. Maybe even worse, we slip into some sort of depression.
Regardless, we leave a trail of destruction and consequences.
Being aware and sitting idle allows us to react appropriately – we don’t need to run from it nor do we need to dump it on others.
Most of us as dads allow our anxiety to engage our children with confrontation (see above: “dumping on others). That escalation inevitably ends with regret.
No one wins when we go about our days in a heightened state of reaction. Everything becomes drama-filled and we create a lot of pain for the ones we love.
Remember earlier when we said anxiety is how we react to our mental judgments? We must allow ourselves to break free from those negative interpretations or we will remain stuck in a patter of confrontation and destruction.
It’s as straightforward as acknowledging that life happens. We can only manage it so far; but after a certain point, it’s a force we can’t understand. It is what it is and we have to accept that and be able to sit with that “what-it-is-ness.”
Once you can sit with that “what-it-is-ness,” your anxiety will come and go quickly. It’s when we react that we become overwhelmed.
So, get comfortable being uncomfortable. Sit and stare at that anxiety and it will pass. Because reacting badly and creating situations where no one wins just isn’t worth it, right?
If you don’t settle your anxiety, you’ll project it onto your kids and leave a trail of consequences.